Day 113
113 is
the letters “yud” “nun” “gimel” “nun”, spelling the word y’nagen, which translates to “he will sing”, or a command—“Sing”!.
As I
move along in recovery, I find I forget the joy of daily life. I’m so focused on checking off the items in
my daily to-do list, and yes, in my recovery tools list, that Life almost floats by without my noticing. That is where, for me, making music—singing--
comes in. When I sing, I connect with
the moment. I cannot be thinking of
yesterday’s mistake or worry about tomrrow’s challenge when I’m singing. In song, I’m in the now, connected with the
deepest parts of me. That’s why I love
the experience of making music.
Today, day 113,
my recovery says, “Sing!” Don’t worry
about tomorrow and fret about yesterday—enjoy the moment of today! I’m here, I’ve made it to this moment, I can
be thankful to my G-d for that, and I
can enjoy what is going on around me in this life at this moment!
But
“niggun” is not just any song, it’s a song of melody. Today, my recovery urges me to hear the sound of the song in nature. I become
the harp on which this melody is played. Part of my recovery is attuning my heart-strings
to the melody of His universe. As Rabbi Yehuda HaLevi, zt”l wrote: l’chol shirayich ani kinor (“To all of your songs, O Jerusalem, I am a
harp.”).
Centered,
and attuned, for today.
